A Eulogy: Celebrating the Life of the 2015 San Francisco Giants

By: Ben Leonard

REST IN PEACE

SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS

April 6, 2015 — September 29, 2015.

CAUSE OF DEATH: CLAYTON KERSHAW

The 2015 Giants lived a very good, and unexpectedly long life. They will be remembered for a lot of reasons, including their pitchers that could rake, their brilliant acquisition of Casey McGehee, which opened the door for a budding star to man third base, and nearly every regular hitting the DL.

With all of the various ailments they suffered, no one expected them to last as long as they did. With such a bare-bones rotation and paper-thin lineup that had Alejandro De Aza routinely hitting cleanup, it’s shocking they didn’t give in earlier. It all seemed over at many points, but had things turned in their favor in recent weeks, they could still have been alive and kicking. But baseball.

But you could never count out the Giants, even in an odd year, because they don’t choke each other in the dugout. They hug each other and joke around and ride weird mini glowing segways, if you’re Chris Heston. Through thick and thin, you always felt this team had a chance, even up until the end. We’ve been on this roller coaster so many times, that its bumps, loops, and hills don’t make our stomachs drop anymore.

Back on September 14th, I recall hearing Hunter Pence shout out from the shower: “We’re going to the playoffs, baby!” His desperate cries weren’t all that far off, but now look pretty ironic, posthumously.

We’ll always remember Melvin Upton breaking up Madison Bumgarner’s no-hit bid, because Melvin Upton. We’ll always remember Chris Heston’s no-hitter (I won’t, I was at work!!! Still mad). And Casey McGehee grounding into four more double plays than RBI’s. Strong showing, to say the least.

And we’ll always remember the bespectacled little second baseman named Kelby that they gave us. He put the nail in the coffin on Tuesday, but eh, we still love him anyway. He was part of arguably the best Giants’ infield in history, even though half of them didn’t make it through August.

We’ll always remember good ‘ole Norichika for running all the way around the bases with A BROKEN ANKLE.Now I can’t complain when I stub my toe for the bajillionth time on my desk.  Season and all-time MVP goes to him just for that moment.  And for always looking like this.

San Francisco Giants' Nori Aoki reacts to getting hit by the pitch during the first inning of a baseball game against the Philadelphia Phillies, Saturday, June 6, 2015, in Philadelphia. The Giants won 7-5. (AP Photo/Chris Szagola)
San Francisco Giants’ Nori Aoki reacts to getting hit by the pitch during the first inning of a baseball game against the Philadelphia Phillies, Saturday, June 6, 2015, in Philadelphia. The Giants won 7-5. (AP Photo/Chris Szagola)

We’ve missed you while you’ve been on the DL, pal. Why do I feel like a broken record? Probably just my imagination.

Since I’m still a little bitter after Tuesday’s Kershawing, I just have to attach this, probably the best moment of this team’s life.

The Giants got us excited about making big moves this deadline, even when we knew they weren’t going to make us happy with shiny new pieces like Cole Hamels. We just got not-so shiny things like Mike Leake and partly shiny things like Marlon Byrd, who can’t play defense and I feel like no one else notices but me but that’s okay.

They died a painful death, with Dodgers parading over their dead body in their house, but that’s okay. That’s why fans rushed out like Dodgers fans in the fourth inning, to “beat the traffic.”

Needless to say, they lived a good life and gave us a lot of memories. Good thing next year is 2016.

 

Cover Image: San Francisco Giants second baseman Kelby Tomlinson (37) runs onto the field before a baseball game against the Los Angeles Dodgers in San Francisco, Tuesday, Sept. 29, 2015. (AP Photo/Jeff Chiu)